Thursday, July 16, 2015

This is for you

When I look at you, I see how much you can do and how far you can go.

You exude the strength of the young, the freedom of the free. It’s as if there’s always that wind that pushes you from behind, whispering, commanding you to move and spread your wings. How long you have been stuck, I don’t know. Sometimes, I watch how you move, from the way you relax that bottom jaw ‘til you let loose those lips. There’s that smile but there’s also that bewildered sigh. I see it, no matter how you try to hide it. I’ve dealt with that years ago. I recognize the pressure in it – the old familiar feeling that mostly comes with being in early 20s!

I want you to know, however, that there’s nothing wrong with going through the slow motion phase of life. In a world where everyone wants to be the first in everything, life wants to show you the beauty in slow downs. I was 24 when I got my dream job, three years behind my timeline. But it didn’t hurt me like I thought it would when I was your age. In fact, it prepared me for this moment when all there is to life is busyness. The thing is, circumstances, emotions, even people, are not exactly what you think they are when you get to experience them outside your imaginary world.

So don’t believe the crowd when they tell you it’s too late. Because it’s not. It’s not late to pursue another dream. To study again or to get better at what you do. To get your dream job or your dream car. To nail your board exam. It’s not late to be easy on yourself. To be kind to the person that you are, to the phasing you now have.


My dear, I’d love to see you get there, waving, smiling, dancing in victory. But more than the joy of seeing you reach your full potential is the joy of watching you thrive as you make your way up.  

Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. You do not want to reach your peak, ugly, do you? Work hard but know that sometimes, it won’t really get you that far. Not now, at least. So work hard still, but don’t get trapped by your expectations of the future. Your mind will be your biggest battlefield, your catapult to either doom or greatness. Fight for it, win it! And please, don’t ever believe yourself when it insists that your success (money, gadgets and all material things) is your identifier. There’s more to you than that!

I pray that you see the person I am seeing in you – kind, vibrant, persistent, more than able. Where you are now is the best time to enjoy the perks of being young. The world is for your taking, don’t rush. Remember, an anxious heart may accomplish much but a happy and patient heart will definitely experience more! 

Trust me, you were born to soar!




Sunday, July 5, 2015

Ulan at kalungkutan

image from Google
Ni hindi ko nga alam kung ano ang dapat kong isulat. Pakiramdam ko, tinatangay ng bawat patak ng ulan yung emosyon na gusto kong palutangin. Alam mo yung para kang nakakulong sa isang bagay o mahika? Nagpupumiglas ang emosyon. Bumabaha na ng halu-halong damdamin pero hindi mo alam eh. Hindi mo alam kung pano kumawala. Magulo. Nakalilito.

Kaya ayaw ko minsan sa ulan. Pakiramdam ko kasi ang lungkot. Sobrang lungkot. Kapag naririnig ko ang karera ng bawat patak, parang sumisigaw yung kaluluwa ko ng ‘sobrang unfair!’ Bakit ang ulan pwedeng bumuhos kung kelan niya gusto? Bakit ang panahon, pwedeng maging masungit kung kelan niya maisipan ito? Bakit ang langit pwedeng mawalan ng bughaw na kulay? Bakit ang ulap, pwede nitong ipagsigawan ang pagod niya sa pamamagitan ng tunog at patak ng ulan?

Bakit nga ba nagiging malungkot ang tao? Bakit kailangang malungkot ng isang taong tulad ko o tulad mo?

Alam ko naman talaga ang sagot sa tanong ko. Ang saklap di ba? Alam ko pero hindi ko alam. Ganon naman yata. Kahit anong lohika ang ibigay ng utak mo, alam na alam mong hahantong ka sa konklusyong may mga bagay talaga sa mundo na walang tiyak na kasagutan. May panahon na parang maayos ito sa pakiramdam.  Pero may mga panahon, katulad ngayon, na alam mong may mali pero hindi mo lang sigurado kung saan. Parang may kulang. Parang may puwang na dapat mapunan.

Ano sa tingin mo?
Ang sakit sa ulo noh?

Pero kung may isang bagay akong patuloy na mamahalin sa bawat kalabog ng mga mumunting patak, iyon ay ang kamalayang kaya ko pa palang makaramdam. Lugkot man ito o tuwa. Pangungulila man o pagkahapo o kapahingahan. Sa lahat ng bagay na naranasan ko nitong mga nagdaang buwan at taon, natatakot akong mamanhid ang puso ko. Sa mga bagay na nakita ng mga mata ko, mga kwentong paulit-ulit na narinig hindi lang ng tenga kundi ng buong kaluluwa ko, natatakot akong pagod ng makiramdam ang puso ko.

Pero hindi. Kaya pa. pwede pa.

Tulad ng unti-unting pagtila ng ulan. Tulad ng pagtigil ng agos ng luha. Maaari na muling punuin ang ulap. Kaya na muling tumanggap ng puso.