Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Why God says "WAIT"


When God seems to be so silent and distant, He's just asking us to WAIT. He says this not because He wants us to suffer even more or that He wants us to be like beggars begging for mercy. He says WAIT because He wants us to experience the fullness of His grace and He wants us to know Him not just as a Giver but as a Father^.^

Yet those who wait for the LORD

Will gain new strength;

They will mount up with wings like eagles,

They will run and not get tired,

They will walk and not become weary.

(Isaiah 40:31)

Be encouraged because God is a God who never fails. He may seem late but His timing will always be PERFECT. Here's one good encouragement which I came across the net:)

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Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried,

Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.

I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate,

And the Master so gently said, “Child, you must wait.”

“Wait? You say, wait! ” my indignant reply.

“Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!

Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?

By Faith, I have asked, and am claiming your Word.

My future and all to which I can relate

Hangs in the balance, and YOU tell me to WAIT?

I’m needing a ‘yes’, a go-ahead sign,

Or even a ‘no’ to which I can resign.

And Lord, You promised that if we believe

We need but to ask, and we shall receive.

And Lord, I’ve been asking, and this is my cry:

I’m weary of asking! I need a reply!

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate

As my Master replied once again, “You must wait.”

So, I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut

And grumbled to God, “So, I’m waiting … for what?”

He seemed, then, to kneel, and His eyes wept with mine,

And he tenderly said, “I could give you a sign.

I could shake the heavens, and darken the sun.

I could raise the dead, and cause mountains to run.

All you seek, I could give, and pleased you would be.

You would have what you want – But, you wouldn’t know Me.

You’d not know the depth of My love for each saint;

You’d not know the power that I give to the faint.

You’d not learn to see through the clouds of despair;

You’d not learn to trust just by knowing I’m there;

You’d not know the joy of resting in Me

When darkness and silence were all you could see.

You’d never experience that fullness of love

As the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove;

You’d know that I give and I save… (for a start),

But you’d not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

The glow of My comfort late into the night,

The faith that I give when you walk without sight,

The depth that’s beyond getting just what you asked

Of an infinite God, who makes what you have LAST.

You’d never know, should your pain quickly flee,

What it means that “My grace is sufficient for Thee.”

Yes, your dreams for your loved one overnight would come true,

But, Oh, the Loss! If I lost what I’m doing in you!

So, be silent, My Child, and in time you will see

That the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me.

And though oft may My answers seem terribly late,

My most precious answer of all is still, “WAIT.”

- Author unknown

Of Letting Go and Moving On..

I can't believe I am actually writing this now. I didn't expect it to be this fast. I thought, it would take me years before I can totally let go of the feeling. I thought it would even reach a lifetime before I can genuinely smile when someone asks me "how's your heart?".

It's all because of God's grace I believe.

The first month was really, really bad. I've never cried that much before. I've never felt so bad and devastated until that day. It felt like moving on was the hardest thing on earth. Wherever I go, memories would keep coming back. It wasn't easy. Words are not even enough to describe how shattered I was then. And I must admit. I hoped. I wished. I even prayed that second chance would be possible for us. I cried rivers hoping that somehow, the love story which I grew up with would really have a happy ending.

Until God told me to let go. Until God whispered in my very heart that I should take my gaze away from that emotion and fix my eyes on Him instead. Until He told me that He is in control and holding on to something which puts Him second best will just make matters worse. Again, I cried. This time, I cried not because I didn't want to obey but I cried because I knew God was teaching me something. I cried because I've realized how focused I am on myself and on that person that I came to the point of almost forgetting God. I cried because I felt so guilty knowing that the pain I am going through is nothing compared to the pain that I've been giving Him because I neglected Him. I cried because the moment He showed me why He allowed it to happen, I knew it's really time to loosen my grip.

Then I started to pray like I never used to. Whenever my mind drifts away, I would call unto Him and ask Him to give me strength so that I can let go. I prayed that He would fill me with so much love so that I will have something more to give. I prayed that He would heal my heart so that I can breakfree from my own self. I prayed that He would show me His purpose so that I can easily move ahead. And yes, He granted the cries of my heart. Slowly, He unfolded His will in my life. Through the books I've read, through the poeple I've talked to, He answered my prayers.

I've never been bitter with him. I am even surprised that never have I felt anger towards him. Perhaps because what I felt was really true love. He has been my dream, my first love, my friend, my companion and there is nothing I can say against him. I know what we had was real but we just grew apart and so we had to part ways. I know he loved me as much as I loved him but we came to the point when love was no longer enough to keep the relationship going and so we had to call it quits. This is also the reason why forgiveness came that fast. More than the boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, we were bestfriends and no matter what happened, the bond that we have formed for years will remain unbreakable.

Today, I can honestly say that I'm ok. There are still times when I think about him but the pain is no longer there. When I think of him, I can now smile and sincerely be happy for him. I will not also regret the time that I fell in love with that man because I just know that my life wouldn't be as it is now without him. I am no longer afraid to dream alone. I am no longer afraid to see myself in the future without the person whom I've shared my plans with. Now, I am confident with what lies ahead because when God told me to give him up, He said it with a promise.

Letting go is a decision. It's not just about the emotion because emotion deceives. PRay hard. Commit it all to God because when loneliness creeps in, He will become your joy. Believe me, I never thought I would be this happy and peaceful again after the break up. But I am now, and I'm glad to see myself moving forward and falling in love with God more and more each day. I have found the satisfaction of my soul and I have matured not just as an individual but as a christian. When I pray now, I no longer pray for reconciliation or second chance for the two of us. I am now asking that He will just direct us both into His presence so that we may feel the fullness of His love and be renewed in His embrace. My heart's desire now is not to see myself building a family with him but to to see him fulfill the covenant he once made with his Maker. And yes, I am praying that he is happy, really happy with where he is right now because he deserves it.

Another thing I've learned: Moving on becomes easier when you forgive. Keeping the grudges will never help. Remembering the betrayal or even the not-so-good moments will just flare up the hatred. In the end, you will be the one being hurt. Move on with love; move on with so much anticipation for the future because it is only then that you can really be happy.

Moving on also requires time. When it's true love, healing doesn't come in a snap. Take one step at a time. Look for someone you can talk to; someone who won't take sides but someone who will give you a clear view and understanding of the situation. Learn to listen and do what is right. When that happens, you will begin to appreciate life again and you will see how beautiful the world is.

This is no longer a message from a broken-hearted person but this is now a testimony of a girl who tried to see things beyond what the eyes can see. Finally, I'm breaking free and thank God because the wounds have healed. God broke me so that I can be made whole again and though the process has been so close to hell, I thank Him because He led me back to where I should belong -- His heart:) And when one day we se each other again, we will tenderly smile at each other knowing that the friendship is still there. We will laugh like we used to and we will share stories like we usually do back then. The romantic kind of love may no longer be there but it won't matter anymore because by then, we are two matured individuals proving the world that everything heals in due time.

I still believe in love. I still believe in its beauty and I know, I will feel it again at the right time and with the right man. But for now, I'll enjoy life as it is and welcome each day with excitement and hope that something better is going to happen. One day, I know I'll fall in love again^.^

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

To My Future Husband

photo from the web
I wish I know what you are doing now; I wish I can also have a glimpse of who you are. I wonder how you look like; I wonder how sweet your smile is and how expressive your eyes are.

I don't even know why I am writing this now. Perhaps because my heart is grieving and that somehow, I'm wishing you were here to comfort me and say that everything will be fine. I'm wishing that somehow, you were here to hug me and assure me that tomorrow will be a different day. God said that He will give me the man who will complement my dreams. He said that the right man will run the race with me and share every vision that He placed in my heart. I don't know if we already met before and I don't even know how long will I have to wait before I meet you but know that I shall prepare myself until you come.

Maybe God is preparing the two of us so that when the right time comes, we'll make the best love story ever. I can only imagine what you're doing now. Is He speaking to you at this moment like how He is speaking to me? Do you also think of me like how I am thinking of you?

I love you and I want to love you more each day. I don't care if I have never seen you before or if we already met each other; what matters is you're God's best for me. When God will finally introduce you to me, I'd love to see how you would react. Will you hug me? Will you smile at me and shake hands with me? Will we pray together and thank God that our moment has finally come? All these may just be dreams now but I will always anticipate the realization of all these.
Don't worry, wherever you are, I'll take care of myself. I will practice each day to be the woman that you deserve. I will preserve myself until you come. I will guard my thoughts so that whenever I feel like you're no longer coming, I won't do anything that will lead me farther from you.

Do you know that I am not a good cook? I only know few recipes but one day, I'll learn how to cook the best food for you. I will be a woman of honor so that when you come, you will be proud of me.

I know that God is likewise working on you now. He's preparing you to be the best man for me; the man who will be the last person to make me cry and the man who will strengthen me when I'm at my weakest. You will be the man who will write me letters and give me flowers unexpectedly because I really love surprises. You will be the man who will tell me that I am beautiful despite all my imperfections. You will be the man who will look at me like I'm the only girl in the world. In your eyes, I will see how much you love me and how much you would want to stop the ticking of the clock just so you can be with me.

I understand that you will never be perfect but remember that I will always be here to support you. We will complement each other's weaknesses and we will support each other until we overcome the problem. I will have my flaws and you will have yours but it will never lessen the love I feel for you.

I really hope I can meet you soon but I won't rush. When my heart is ready to love again; when it no longer remembers the pain of the past and when it no longer cries over the things that were done, then maybe we can start our own story. My heart is filled with so much anticipation for you. In God's perfect time, we will meet. By then, we are both ready to take life anew and share in all the goodness and pains that it offers. I shall be your strength and you shall be my shield.

I hope you always take care of yourself. I believe that God is watching over you and that He is making you more and more like Him. I love you, I love you and I love you my beloved.


With so much love,


Your future wife:)