Dealing with regrets

One of the hardest things to deal with is regret. Alam mo yung pakiramdam na parang paulit-ulit kang binabalik sa nakaraan, pinapamukha sa'yo ang lahat ng pagkakamali, lahat ng nasayang, lahat ng nawalang di na maibabalik pa. Na kahit na maayos ka na, kahit na umaayon na lahat sa gusto mo, parang pinapamukha sa'yo ang kulang, ang puwang na napunan sana kung tama ang lahat mula pa nung una.

I've had my fair share of that. I cried, I mourned, I wished, I looked back. There were moments when the regret came unintentionally - when a smell, a spot, a person, a sound triggered the emotion. I thought of the years when I could have chosen my job better. I thought of the days when I could have pursued graduate studies earlier. I thought of the people I easily let go, of the words I never had the courage to tell them. I thought of the many times I could have spent for something else, of the chances I could have given or grabbed. The truth is, no matter how beautiful things have turned out, at one point, you will be confronted by the remnants of your past.

Regret. It will try to drag you down - to emphasize the things that are lacking, to amplify the dead dreams. It works in a way that would make you want to go back to yesterday and forever dwell in there. I wish I can tell you how to get rid of regrets. But I can't. I can't because regret also comes to me once in a while. Years ago, I would wallow on it. I would take in every memory it feeds me as if not doing so is betrayal to all that has been. As years pass, I've learned to deal with it.

The Lord makes all things new

Whether it's an opportunity, a relationship that's been lost, I am always assured that God is able to make things new. When the enemy feeds my thoughts with the 'what ifs' and the 'could have beens', the Lord fills my heart with excitement for the things that are to come. He overwhelms my heart with peace, with the knowledge that everything works together for the good of those who love Him. While I know that what happened to me in the past was the result of my own decisions, I still believe that God allowed such detours to spare me from further harm.

I cast it out

It is a spiritual battle, I know. It brings back the guilt, the lure of living in the past and forgetting about the present. When the thoughts become overpowering, I cast out. It's important to hide behind the cross, to declare the power of the name who healed me, who set me free. Regret comes knocking at any time - when you're commuting, when you're alone, when you're at your lowest points. Walking away from it even before it consumes you is necessary.

And so my prayer for you is that you'll be armoured with God's unending grace as you deal with regrets. I pray that you will always be reminded that you are a new creation, that whatever may have been lost in the past will be filled in by His love. Regret comes but it also goes. The decision is yours.