God in Malaysia (written 10.27.13)

It's my third time in Malaysia but I still fall in love with the place :)

I am writing from a different part of the world. I wanted to talk about the places I have so far visited, the foods I ate, the cars I’ve rode in and the people I’ve met but something from deep within wanted me to share something else. A burning passion makes me want to write something else.

Brokenness. In Malaysia, God broke me. Again. Piece by piece. Layer by layer. Every hour since I arrived has been a revelation of who I am before God and who He is in my life. 

1. Who am I in your life? I know I am on the right track. I know I am doing the things I like and the things closest to my heart. I know those things are likewise close to God’s heart. But yesterday, He confronted me: Joy, who am I in your life? In all the activities you have been so far doing, where am I? What occupied most of your time? Your thoughts? What concerns you? What matters most to you? Where am I in all of those? 

2. Will you be Mary instead of Martha? Not that I don’t want you to be doing the things that you are now doing. Not that I want you to stop working but will you find time to sit down with me? Even before you started all these things, you knew why you wanted them. And I gave them to you but along the way, they’ve snatched you from me. Or should I say, you began loving them more than me. I missed listening to your stories, to your different encounters with different people. I even missed your rants and your childish pleas that make me smile at times. There can be no sweeter offering but a fellowship with you, my child. Can I be your first love once more? 

3. Joy, will you trust me? Mary, out of her love for Me, poured all of her perfume and wiped my feet with her hair. The perfume was worth a year of salary. Judas, my disciple said it could have been sold instead, to be given to the poor. Sounded practical and logical but Mary didn’t listen. Martha was also complaining, asking her to help in serving Me but Mary kept on listening to Me. Mary never listened to man. She chose to listen to me. She chose Me. 

Joy, does the world’s opinion matter more than mine? When some aspects of your life are not going according to man’s time and calendar, do you listen to the world’s voice or do you believe that my purpose for you is my perfect timing? 

Like Mary who, without reservation poured all what’s left in the perfume, please don’t be afraid to lose because of me. Be afraid of nothing because I own everything. And as Mary opened the perfume without hesitation, please open up yourself to me because only then will my fragrance can fill the whole of you. 

4. Joy, I know! Have I ever failed you? In all your trying moments, have I forsaken you? I am the beginning and the end. I know. Every bit of you, every single strand of your hair, I know you. There may be times when I allow you to take detours but it is during those times that I want you to experience more of me. Trust me, you need those things sometimes. Remember the manna I gave to Israelites in the desert? Why do you think did I purposely ask them to get the manna every day? I could have allowed them to gather foods for the whole month but I didn’t. Like how I wanted them to GET fresh manna from heaven every single day, I also want you to receive a fresh revelation of my lordship every new day, not every month or every week but every waking day. 

Joy, I know your needs and I am never late to respond but more than experiencing the blessing, I want you to experience my love for you. 

5. Why do you limit me? I’ve created the earth for you and everything in it is for your taking. Why do you limit yourself? Why do you limit me? A man can have the latest gadget in the world but if he doesn’t know how to use it or if he wouldn’t want to maximize it, the gadget would be useless. Have I not given you the wisdom and the necessary gifts to enable you to do bigger things? I cannot work in you unless you make way for me. Go back to the dreams and vision you have written years ago. Activate your gifts. Think out of the box. Work harder. I will bless the work of your hands. I will expand your territory. You see, I allow you to be with the people you are with now, I allow you to experience what you are experiencing in this trip not just to treat or spoil you but to make you catch the vision. Catch the vision, dear Joy, then, let’s work on it together. 

6. I love you Remember that I have your best interest. I love you, please don’t forget that. I am and will always be your Father. 

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Brokenness. Ahh, only God knows how many more pieces of me would be dealt with, in the coming days. I am excited :)

 

Enjoying the sumptuous meals with friends 

Have always been grateful to have these spiritual mentors, Ptr Li Mend and Ptr Raymond

Lovely children who are currently living in a home for Myanmar kids

Nations unite! Taken after the street feeding in Malaysia

And oh, I will never forget this jamming in Sixstrings :) Idadaan na lang sa gitara!

Let me do the teh tarik :) (An Indian hot milk tea served during the street feeding)

And another food trip with Uncle Alan

Lovely Nengsis :)