2017: Transitions and seasons

Dear 2017,

We had a crazy start. It was something I’ve always prepared myself for, but I fail every time it comes.

Transitions still hurt. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to people moving out, to plans that don’t go as planned, to changes, to moving on.

But maybe I needed you - so bad that you had to begin with a bang. Perhaps you had to leave me without a space to process things so that I would eventually step back and slow down.

Fieldworks in Agusan and Samar

You wanted me to have this time. To tell you that I’ve been thinking about permanence, about the grand opportune that stability presents. This started days before Christmas day – when the call of duty glued me to my laptop, my siblings asking wether I was really on vacation or not. It was the adrenaline rush-kind-of-thing, the kind that makes your heart beat every time the disaster skype chatroom prompts a new message. It’s the kind that I would always embrace without a blink when I was 21. 

This started when most of my closest friends have, like a plot, decided to embark on marriage.

Something happened somewhere.

Tell me. Could constant be as exciting? Are the familiar and the routinary as beautiful? Maybe yes. Maybe no. Maybe the sunset in Agusan or me being on a plane at 6pm got the clue. You see, I’ve watched an overspread of colours in January: fiery red, then orange, then majestic purple. Each mingled with the rolling clouds, dyeing the heavens with unimaginable wonder. It was beautiful. I loved how the receding colours fought for their place in the sky, how they battled with the looming darkness. Until slowly, together with the fiery orb of the sun, they dipped below the horizon. I watched in full attention how the day, no matter how beautiful it was, gracefully transitioned into night.

Seasons.

It boils down to this, don’t you agree? The Lord has a strange, sometimes crazy way of answering things. I need not write further. What God wills, no man can hinder. It doesn’t totally scrap my anxiety but it gives me something to hold on to.

Photo taken in Palawan

So let’s rock this phase. Let’s be unreserved, unwavering and undaunted in our faith. Let’s get through the fear a little each day. I pray, with all the love I can summon, that this year would be nothing short of stunning. Let’s love some more, serve some more, give a little more. I pray we don’t get tired of going to places, of impermanence, of saying yes to death-defying boat rides, of laughing out loud when stuck in knee-deep muds. When circumstance asks for it, let’s not be afraid to step up, to be strong, to be resolute in our decisions and to not withhold the growth of others,. Let’s do some more growing up!

And dear, just like the fading light of day, when it’s time to move out, let’s transition with grace, leaving behind us a beautiful mix of colours.

Photo taken in Isla Gigantes, Iloilo

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