I wrote this column for the University publication about a year ago. One accident yet it has impacted my life. That girl is still in my heart and she will always be here. I wish young people will learn from this. One mistake may mean life.
Still I can’t explain why things happen beyond our control. Still I find it hard to comprehend life’s cycle and why that cycle should be that way.
I guess that’s how life goes on: joy, pain, success, frustrations, laughter, tears and so on and so forth. It will always be a mixture of sugar and pepper; a conjuncture of love and hatred. Life will never be as magical as fairy tales tell us because in reality, life has its bitterness to share.
I thank God because through it all, He never failed to show me that He loves me and that He is always there for me. It’s just sad that I waited for the most horrible whip I could ever think of before I learned the meaning of obedience and felt the consequences of disobedience.
It was hard and until now, the trauma is still there. The scene keeps coming back; the scar of losing someone is still haunting me. It felt like I was in a movie where the ending is tragic and yet, the feeling of just watching it and actually experiencing it are far different.
Who would have thought that it would end up that way? Sometimes, I wish I had the power to see the future. Sometimes, I wish magical powers are true and a fairy would come right in front of me, swish her magic wand so that I can have that power. Probably, that accident could have not occurred.
But then, life is life; reality is reality. I still am not in control of everything; I still am not a god who can say that I know everything. Maybe, when I will see Him, all these things and circumstances will make sense.
Even as I write this column, I can feel that I am not yet ready to write as I usually do. Things are no longer the same because of that incident. And yet, I want to continue what I have started because I have seen how much she loved her craft. I want to continue writing because in every article that I finish, I know she’s smiling. For every issue that kule releases, I know, she’s proud because she’s part of it.
For now, I just want to entrust my life to God. Others have already judged us without knowing the story but I have learned that this will always be part of the bitter reality of life. Some will try to destroy us, some will try to make us feel that they are concerned about us but in the end they would bite us but I know that my God is not blind. He sees more than what we can see and no matter how people pretend in front of us, I know He knows who is true and who is not.
This column is for her. This is for the girl who made me realize a lot of things. This is for the writer who no longer had the chance to share more stories but was able to leave a mark in the world of letters and words. This is for the person who would untiringly join us during press works and would willingly learn when given the chance. Above all, this is for the girl who became a friend, a sister, a daughter, a student, a grandchild and a writer.
I will remember her as the girl who avoided using my laptop when encoding her articles. I will remember her for her childish actions and yet responsible when given tasks. And I guess, one thing that I will never forget about her is that, she’s the only person in Collegian who gave and read a letter for me.
Funny it may seem but I am doing what I used to comment about people who have lost their loved ones. I am actually telling now how much I appreciate her despite of the fact that she no longer hears or reads what I am saying. The cliché lesson is, don’t wait for special people to die before you tell them that you love them or you care for them.
One day, I know I will understand life. One day, I will see the reason for every season. God’s thoughts are not my thoughts, His ways are not my ways but I know He knows what’s best.
This is for her. This is for Almira.
Still I can’t explain why things happen beyond our control. Still I find it hard to comprehend life’s cycle and why that cycle should be that way.
I guess that’s how life goes on: joy, pain, success, frustrations, laughter, tears and so on and so forth. It will always be a mixture of sugar and pepper; a conjuncture of love and hatred. Life will never be as magical as fairy tales tell us because in reality, life has its bitterness to share.
I thank God because through it all, He never failed to show me that He loves me and that He is always there for me. It’s just sad that I waited for the most horrible whip I could ever think of before I learned the meaning of obedience and felt the consequences of disobedience.
It was hard and until now, the trauma is still there. The scene keeps coming back; the scar of losing someone is still haunting me. It felt like I was in a movie where the ending is tragic and yet, the feeling of just watching it and actually experiencing it are far different.
Who would have thought that it would end up that way? Sometimes, I wish I had the power to see the future. Sometimes, I wish magical powers are true and a fairy would come right in front of me, swish her magic wand so that I can have that power. Probably, that accident could have not occurred.
But then, life is life; reality is reality. I still am not in control of everything; I still am not a god who can say that I know everything. Maybe, when I will see Him, all these things and circumstances will make sense.
Even as I write this column, I can feel that I am not yet ready to write as I usually do. Things are no longer the same because of that incident. And yet, I want to continue what I have started because I have seen how much she loved her craft. I want to continue writing because in every article that I finish, I know she’s smiling. For every issue that kule releases, I know, she’s proud because she’s part of it.
For now, I just want to entrust my life to God. Others have already judged us without knowing the story but I have learned that this will always be part of the bitter reality of life. Some will try to destroy us, some will try to make us feel that they are concerned about us but in the end they would bite us but I know that my God is not blind. He sees more than what we can see and no matter how people pretend in front of us, I know He knows who is true and who is not.
This column is for her. This is for the girl who made me realize a lot of things. This is for the writer who no longer had the chance to share more stories but was able to leave a mark in the world of letters and words. This is for the person who would untiringly join us during press works and would willingly learn when given the chance. Above all, this is for the girl who became a friend, a sister, a daughter, a student, a grandchild and a writer.
I will remember her as the girl who avoided using my laptop when encoding her articles. I will remember her for her childish actions and yet responsible when given tasks. And I guess, one thing that I will never forget about her is that, she’s the only person in Collegian who gave and read a letter for me.
Funny it may seem but I am doing what I used to comment about people who have lost their loved ones. I am actually telling now how much I appreciate her despite of the fact that she no longer hears or reads what I am saying. The cliché lesson is, don’t wait for special people to die before you tell them that you love them or you care for them.
One day, I know I will understand life. One day, I will see the reason for every season. God’s thoughts are not my thoughts, His ways are not my ways but I know He knows what’s best.
This is for her. This is for Almira.
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