I am 25 and I love it! (Diary Entry 6/15/13)

Twenty five years. Wow! Happy silver anniversary to me! J  And because it is one special day, I’m giving myself the privilege to write everything I want.  Three, five or even another 25 years from now, I will go back to this note and vividly remember how God has sustained me.

When the clock hit 12 MN, I purposively scanned my journals and looked at all the photos in my laptop.  I wanted to look back; I wanted to see once more how I spent the first 25 years of my life.  I wanted to remember the people who became part of the journey; to reflect on how every name, how every face has contributed to the woman I am now staring in the mirror.

It’s humbling.  It’s heartwarming.  In their faces, I saw how God has been moving the past years.  To each and every circumstance I’ve faced and dealt with them, I’ve learned a lot. 

Of dreaming, exploring and succeeding

Money will never define success.  At the onset of my career, that was what I pursued and it brought me nowhere.  Success is when you dream of that something you really love doing, pursuing it no matter what the cost and enjoying it along the way.  It is when after the end of each day, you are able to smile and feel contented with what you are doing.  Success is when you feel that your dreams and convictions are finally one J

The glory that comes with letting go

When I was in Singapore, I used to look up and say, “Why does the sky seem to be so small, Lord?”  Hope was elusive and things were totally out of control.  I didn’t know how to respond anymore but in my darkest times, God found His way to humble me and to usher me back home.  It was there that I learned what total surrender means.    It was also there that I saw how blessed I am for having my family who has supported me all the way, friends who have cried and prayed with me and spiritual family who never got tired of interceding for me.

When I started letting go of my own plans, everything started making sense.  The sky seemed to be so vast again. The journey with jeeps, buses and planes all started with a bold declaration, “TAKE OVER Lord!”

Of buses, jeepneys, motorbikes and planes

When I was attending a Sunday Service in CLSU Lakas Angkan, a pastor related of how God has brought him to places without spending, and he said, God can do the same in our lives.  I believed him and I claimed it but it took years before I saw it coming to life. 

Until now, I am still amazed on how God has orchestrated the details of my life.  I once attended a job fair in MOA after graduation.  After that, I sat on the benches near the bay.  I remember how I was looking at the planes in the sky and I said, “God, one day, I’ll ride planes again.”

And here I am now, going to places I never thought I would ever reach.  I ride on buses to different towns, motorbikes (and even habal-habal) going to communities and yes, planes to different countries and provinces.  And when I am hundreds of feet above the ground, I would look down and realize how big God is.  He is able!

Of love, being loved and loving again

I’ve missed writing about love, the romantic kind of love this time.  There are times when people close to me would brutally tell me that I’m not getting any younger; that maybe, I’ll end up being an old maid.  The first time I heard all those, I was in a panic and I wanted to rush in love again but God said, uh-oh, not again dear Joy J

And so I made a decision to give myself the chance to be alone.  I promised to give myself more time to explore, to enjoy being with friends and family, to dream on my own.  Sure, there were still times when I wished someone was texting me those cheesy messages and there were times when I wanted to break my rule but I knew it wasn’t time yet.  So I learned to enjoy the season and to take it as my time to prepare myself for that special day.

Here’s a portion of what I wrote dated 09/26/12.

I think of you now.  I will think of you in the coming days, in the coming months.  I guess, there will never be a time when I won’t be thinking of you.  Until we meet face to face.  Until we reach that moment when we both wouldn’t know how to tell the story of you, finding me, and me, waiting for you. 

Until then my dearest.   Until you find me.  Until I see you.  Until we meet. 

It was liberating!  The moment I let go the world’s dictates as to what makes me happy, God, the ultimate lover of my soul, finally had the space to show me things I could never even put into words.  I gave Him the pen of my love story and He is about to let the world read His beautiful masterpiece!

Of studying, learning and growing in wisdom

When I enrolled for graduate studies, it was out of boredom and it was simply for another extension to my name.  Along the process, I realized that I want to learn more so I can give more.  Studying and learning are two different things and I continue to choose the latter. 

Of my undying motto, always choose to do good

But I am no saint and it’s always been because of God’s grace.  I will always thank Him for the wisdom that avenging myself will never lessen the pain I’ve been through; that the more I hate, the more I hurt.  And so I smiled.  I laughed.  I wept for a while but I made sure to stand firm afterwards.  I chose to do good and I have no regrets.  Good things followed me afterwards.

The journey continues

Twenty five years and counting! Just like the first quarter, I know that the next years will not be smooth at all but I take honor in every breaking and molding because gold is always refined in flames. The journey continues and my heart is filled with gratitude to all those who journeyed with me.

And while this may be one of the best years I had, I believe that my God never runs out of best things for His children.  I will see more, and soon, I will write them all once more!

I am 25 and I love it!

Day before my birthday, my Supervisor asked me to come early the following morning for a meeting.  I thought I'll be deployed in Mindanao for the Emergency Response. The next day, I was at the office at 7.  When they called me to enter the conference room, I brought with me my pen, laptop and notebook, thinking that we'll be having a meeting. But lo and behold, charraaannn!!! Thanks ITD Team and to my officemates :)   

Last year, our Pre-Selection Training (PST) was set on my birthday and these PST batchmates surprised me.  And here they are, again!

And yes, celebrating my birthday with family is definitely heaven.

This bday surprise happened a week before my birthday.  My HS barkada knew that I can't see them on the 15th so the day after I got back from a work-related travel, they asked me to see them somewhere in Cubao.  They told me to bring an extra shirt.  Well, we went to Enchanted Kingdom and had a good time!